Freedom’s Final Season

As it turned out, the morning after I arrived my mother went into town, which left my dad and I alone for the morning so I told him I needed to talk to him about something important. I had something to tell him that was going to be very hard, but I needed to do it so I could get well and he realized at once that it was something serious. He sat down in front of me and listened as I told him that my older half brother had sexually molested me as we were growing up. I know he was in shock and as the tears built in his eyes, he said to me, “We’ve known for all of your life that there was something, but we could never figure it out. We never had this piece to the puzzle and I want you to know I am so sorry this happened to you,” and he pointed to his right arm as he said, “I would have cut this arm off right here to have protected you. I am just so sorry and I love you so much.” And for the first time in my life I actually felt the love. I felt it and I was overwhelmed with emotion for this man. I had always loved him and I loved when he said he loved me, but this was very different. He knew what had happened to me. He knew the truth about me and he still loved me and I was amazed at how deeply I felt his words and his love. As he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me I was so grateful for that moment. It was an amazing feeling and I knew that I had his support and love and that was so important to me. He and I both cried together and we both knew we had crossed a huge hurdle in our relationship. Later that night while he was watching television in the family room I went into the living room to talk with my mother and I sat down with her and began telling her what had happened to me the same way I had earlier told my father. Her reaction shocked me to the core. She didn’t apologize to me. She didn’t say she loved me or that she was sorry it had happened to me. Instead she became angry and began to rant about my brother and how angry she was with him and what he had done to her relationship with me. She was angry with my father for having brought him into their home and family and she made it all about her and what this had done to her. I was truly surprised. I didn’t feel loved by her as I hadn’t for so long anyway, but I was shocked that she could take something like that, that had happened to me, that I had suffered for, for so long, and turn it around to be about her. As I realized what she was doing it hurt me deeply. She continued to rant about my brother and at my Father. I was actually shattered and she didn’t even notice. There was never any doubt with either of them that I was telling the truth. They both knew me well enough to know I would never lie to them or ever tell them something like that if it weren’t true and I thanked God that I wouldn’t have to be concerned about that, but what my mother was doing was troubling and I felt very sorry for my dad.