Parenting Errors

Part I

This book is for any person who is currently in a parental relationship with a child or adolescent. It is also for those of us, like me, whose children are adults.

This is because everyone who has been a parent—biological, foster, adoptive, step or grandparent–has made some parenting error at one or numerous times during our parental regime.

The book is designed to help us solve such errors, and it is never too late to do so. 

The poet Alexander Pope said, “To err is human.” We parents are very, very human in this sense.

Indeed, erring in our relationships with children is a large part of our experience. Most of us were never taught how to be as errorless as possible in raising children.

In addition, raising children is arguably the most difficult job we will ever have, since being a parent involves many overlapping and interrelated responsibilities. We will closely examine these in the section “Parenting” so that we will not be so hard on ourselves for the errors we make or have made.

We will also be learning some of the better ways of relating to and raising children. The most creative and modern parenting programs will become available to us. Part II of the book is devoted to this type of practical education.

For now, let’s explore the various types of errors that we parents are prone to make.

Types of Parental Errors

A parental error is something we have done or not done that impedes the healthy growth and development of our children.

The error can consist of a painful and inconsiderate comment about the child’s appearance or abilities that eats away at a child’s self-esteem as he or she is receiving it.

It can be an entire approach to child-rearing that goes on for years, which predisposes a child to a lifetime of difficulty and problems. These are errors of commission.

By contrast, errors of omission can consist of not acknowledging when our children are behaving in cooperative and respectful ways because that is the way they should behave or for some other reason for not praising or appreciating them and their behavior.

A multiyear approach, where very few limits are ever set on a child’s day-to-day actions, can predispose a child to a lifetime of being selfish in relation to others.

These multiyear errors, in overall approach, have received much attention by child development and health professionals who have championed one approach or another. Behavioral scientists have conducted research on different approaches. Their work will be presented in the section on “Effective and Ineffective Parenting” to provide a fuller appreciation about what a parenting approach looks like. And with such information, we might even consider changing our current approach.

Parenting Errors Video Trailer: https://youtu.be/ZLnNcBO6l8s