Note: hyperlinks below
will take you to the Break the Cycle! Website (formerly "Stepfamily inFormation") that this book and series are based on. Use your browser´s "back" button to return to Xlibris.
This is the fourth volume in a series of six dedicated to breaking the epidemic [wounds + unawareness] cycle that promotes America´s tragic divorce divorce epidemic. The prior volume, Stepfamily Courtship (Xlibris.com, 2002), outlines seven
Projects to help courting couples make wise commitment
decisions.
This book for stepfamily coparents and supporters adds five more projects based on the prior seven ones. If couples didn’t do the prior projects
(which is common), they can start the first six any time. A sobering reality: if either partner made any unwise courtship choices, it’s unlikely that doing these other 11 Projects will guard them and their dependents
from the
five hazards that promote psychological or legal re/divorce. Nonetheless, working at the the projects will give minor kids their best chance at avoiding inherited
psychological wounds, and
passing them on to their descendents like their unaware ancestors did.
The five post-re/wedding co-parenting projects are:
8)
Nourish your
re/marriage and steadily keep it your second priority, after personal integrity and wholistic health - except in emrgencies. In complex multi-home stepfamilies this is hard for many couples to do; as they…
9)
Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and evolve strategies to resolve inevitable values and loyalty conflicts and Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer
relationship triangles; while you…
10) (a)
Build a co-parenting team
with your kids’ “other parents,” (b) stay current on your kids’ progress with
their many developmental and adjustment
needs, and (c) continually
adjust and refine your co-parenting “job
descriptions” based on your stepfamily
mission statement. Because all nine of these ongoing co-parent projects are complex, confusing, and conflictual…
11) Intentionally
build a support network for
you and your kids, and use it regularly. Finally…
12) Help each other (a)
stay balanced personally,
re/maritally, and co-parentally each day, and (b)
enjoy this whole challenging, enriching experience as you do daily life + all these projects!
Three Book Sections
Part 1 prepares
readers for Part 2…
-
Why Read This Book? This summarizes
why the book exists, who it´s for (courting and re/married co-parents
and lay and professional supporters), and what´s in it (this summary).
-
First things first – an inventory of
questions readers should be able to answer from the prior three volumes or
study of the related Stepfamily inFormation
Website. This book assumes such knowledge;
-
About this series - (a) an overview of
the three prior volumes, (b) a summary of why the series exists, and (c) five
reasons the books in this series are unique in the remarriage /
co-parenting / stepfamily genre (Chapter 1 - excerpted below);
-
How to get the most from this book and
series (Chapter 2);
-
28 traits of a high
nurturance family, and six psychological
wounds that usually occur in
kids who don’t get enough of the nurturance traits (Chapter 3);
-
A self-discovery quiz for readers
about personal, relationship, and family basics (Chapter 4);
-
A summary of
stepfamily realities (Chapter
5);
-
An exploration of the
five re/marital hazards
(Chapter 6), and
-
An overview of the
12 co-parental projects in
this series (Chapter 7).
Part 2 includes seven chapters on the five
post-re/wedding projects. Project 9a
outlines the biofamily-merger process, and
Project 9b explores options and
guidelines for resolving merger conflicts and relationship triangles.
Project 10a focuses on options
for overcoming nine common barriers to build an effective co-parenting team.
Project 10b explores
effective child discipline
in stepfamilies. The section ends with a chapter on (a)
troubleshooting, if the
projects don’t seem to be working, and (b) some
next-step options.
Part 3 provides ten supportive resources:
A) A self-assessment worksheet of
false-self behavioral traits
(Project 1);
B) A summary of typical stepfamily adjustment tasks (Project 9);
C) A worksheet to help assess how readers handle loyalty conflicts (Project 9);
D) A sentence-completion re/marriage-assessment worksheet (Project 8)
E) A re/marriage strengths
and stressors inventory (Project 8)
F) A worksheet to identify co-parents’ recent priorities (Project 8)
G) A summary of four sets
of developmental and adjustment needs that typical stepkids need help filling (Project 10)
H) A glossary of stepfamily-relationship terms, based on the five hazards;
I) Selected resources: stepfamily-related books, Web sites, games, support materials, newsletters, and games; and…
J) A thorough index, to facilitate research.
Readers who have access to
the Internet will profit most from these books, for the series contains many
Web-address pointers to support articles and worksheets at the
non-profit Break the Cycle! Website (formerly "Stepfamily inFormation". The books in this series are designed to be
modular and useful references over years of personal healing and stepfamily
relationship-building. They and the related Web pages are intended to
supplement, not replace, other qualified
professional counsel.
Book Display
A Guidebook for Co-parents