Painless

Reviewed By Rabia Tanveer for Readers’ Favorite Painless by Bill Poje is the story of a man who was never handed the best cards in life, but when push came to shove, he made it all work in his favor. Aug has never been lucky. He lost his parents when he was just a child, had to live with his uncle, had a beautiful wife who died and now he is trying to make do with what he has. He is not the morally best person you will find, but he is trying to survive. He started his own import/export business, learned to make do with the opportunities provided and make the best for himself. He smuggles plenty of things for the underworld and he gets what he can out of that deal as well. But when jewels worth $40 million are stolen from him before he could smuggle them, Aug knew that he was in big trouble. He cannot get help from the authorities so he has to find out who stole the jewels, where they are and how he is going to get them back.

This novel was a great surprise; I had no idea that I would like it this much. Action, drama, mystery and a little bit of romance had me hooked from the very beginning. The author has a unique writing style that makes the story very appealing. Aug is definitely an intriguing character, one that I just loved to hate. He is the perfect anti-hero of this modern story where nothing is as perfect as the world would like to believe, yet it is perfect in its own imperfect way. Aug’s background added depth to the plot, made it more interesting and paved the way for future development. I can definitely see this becoming a movie or even a TV series because it has the originality that guarantees success.

In Bill Poje's novel, Painless, there actually exists quite a bit of pain. Beginning with a robbery and multiple deaths as a result, the book is a constantly moving train of activity with a full cast of characters carting loads of emotional baggage.
When Augustus Valentine, president of Trove Import-Export in South Florida, is attacked and robbed, he thinks the only booty the thieves made off with was a stash of precious jewels he has smuggled into the United States with a legitimate shipment. This is the jump start of Augustus' entry deep into the world of organized crime in which his uncle, Mark Kledas, is a significant player.
As Augustus learns about all of the items stolen in the heist, he embarks on a search of the goods, discovers who the thieves are, and works towards getting himself a bigger piece of the deal.
Painless is rife with violence and back story. Initially, the author's approach to presenting the history of his characters is confusing. Poje drops the reader in the middle of a past event that is already in progress. This technique demands that the reader quickly catchup. Fortunately, the author is able to tie the history and current events together, all while moving the action along at a 100 mph.
Augustus is driven by the tragic deaths of his parents and his adored wife. As he chases after the bad guys, old scars are peeled away and he is enlightened about parts of his past that he never knew existed.
Poje has a knack for handling multiple characters and plots. His habit of excessive detail often threatens the pace of the story, but he manages to retain a firm grasp of the readers' attention.
Painless is a super-charged crime novel that action addicts will love.

Augustus Valentine has a huge problem.  Involved in a smuggling ring through his import-export business, he has agreed to smuggle in jewels and precious metals.  But before they can be delivered to his client, Augustus is attacked at the business and all the smuggled merchandise is stolen.  That's bad for Augustus, and not with the insurance company or even the police.  No, Aug's problem is with the Mob and the various men he has dealt with for years and that he believed were his partners.  Now everyone is after Aug and expects him to deliver the goods.  If he can't, death is a real possibility.   Fast-paced, Bill Poje's Painless follows Aug in the days after the robbery as he delves into the intricate relationships between the various partners.  Everyone is out for themselves, and betrayal and double-crossing is the name of the game.  As Valentine moves from gangster to gangster, uses of flashbacks reveal that this crime has its genesis in events that happened decades ago.  Valentine must figure out the past and the way it affects the present before he can hope to work his way out of the problems he faces.  He learns that he can't trust anyone, even those he considered his closest friends.   This book is recommended for fans of furious action and a look at crime and criminals from the inside.  The reader is swept along on waves of action and violence.  As one might expect in this setting, there is a lot of sex, violence and adult language.  The plot twists like a sidewinder and the flashbacks help the reader piece together the puzzle of the various relationships.  Bill Poje has created a realistic view of a world most readers will never experience. 

Augustus Valentine is no stranger to tragedy. As a teenager, at a time when he should have been dreaming about his future, Aug was told by his mother that she was pregnant, his father wasn't the baby's father, and they were leaving town immediately to live with Aug's uncle Mark. Aug moved in with his uncle but his parents were both murdered before the rest of the plan could be put into action.
Uncle Mark was good to Aug. He gave him an education and took him under his wing. He even brought him in on some of his most important business projects. Unfortunately, things aren't always as they seem. A suicide that wasn't really a suicide. A robbery where the criminals knew too much. Friends who turn out to be enemies. Under such circumstances, figuring out who is trustworthy is the real mystery.
Painless is a novel about the inner workings of several interconnected groups of criminals. Aug isn't an angel himself. In fact, he's right in the thick ofthings and has no problem dishing out a little retribution. Still, there's a slightly softer hidden side of him too. Action, mystery, and a little romance, nicely combined.

What did you like best about this book?
PAINLESS is a fun read, with two parts drama and one part laugh-out-loud humor. I really enjoyed your authorial voice in this book. Your voice is engaging and as a reader I connected with it. The story is intriguing and the twists and tums are often unexpected. The back cover story blurb was appealing and the author bio is great. Both served the intended purpose of making me want to read the book. I liked all of the interior graphics. They're a good addition to the story. The use of large and unique fonts within the text is fun as well. The volume is beautifully bound and the type is easy to read.
How can the author improve this book?
I think you have two strengths as an author. The first is your authorial voice. This voice works very well, especially in the short story market, but I'm not convinced it works as well in a novel. The reason is because as a reader I want to emotionally connect to a character or characters in the book. Instead, I connected with your voice and it created a less emotional experience for me. You, the author, always stood between the characters and me. It created emotional distance. Your second strength is in your ability to capture real-to-life dialogue. The conversations had a ring of truth to them. If you had written the book in a character's (or multiple characters') view point, rather than in authorial viewpoint, I think this strength would have served you well in interior dialogue. The graphics on the book cover didn't quite work for me. It was very difficult to make out your name and most readers buy by author name. I would have preferred a less busy, and thus more marketable, cover.

Sometimes, the rich don't get rich by following the law to the letter. "Painless" follows tycoon Augustus Valentine as his latest shady venture goes sour. The smuggling operation goes wrong as a his cargo is heisted, and very powerful people are displeased with him. Specifically, they are 'take his life' displeased with him. "Painless" is a fun adventure of the underworld written in a noir style, recommended.

I’m not familiar with the modern noir genre of fiction but if it means a fun book full of action and quirky humor, then Painless is definitely modern noir. In fact, the author’s opening line is quirky and intriguing: “Icky Vicky was not icky.” Looking for a light, fun read for a day at the beach? Then Painless is for you.

Our protagonist is a silver-tongued, smuggling dude, full of spunk and resiliency; a bonified chick-magnet of a guy who is appropriately named Augustus Valentine. Okay, now picture—if you will—a stuffed pink flamingo and a plush giant panda filled with diamonds, rubies and sapphires and riding shotgun in a Cadillac DeVille. The deal is: Aug runs an importexport company, but when his own smuggled loot gets purloined, his employers look to rub him out. In page-turning action, we follow Aug to Detroit, Philly and all across Florida as he chases his attackers, including a pair of goons called “The Mountain” and “The Nose”. Believe me, there’s plenty of violence, Bat Man style: BLAM! POW! Not only that, but there’s oodles of titillating sex scenes and innuendos. Consider Jocelyn, a sexy bombshell whose “every word seemed to convey not just a sense of sex, but a sense of hours of sex”. And, naturally, the Stroh’s beer is always flowing. Are you getting the jist? Well, the author provides all that, plus an intricately woven plot including a collapsing stock market, embezzlements of hundreds of millions, money laundering, and high-stakes gambling at grand casino appropriately called the Poseidon. It all culminates with a catastrophic hurricane named Bill. I wonder: Bill the Hurricane and Bill the author . . . any connection?

The book jacket tells us the author recently resided and commuted between Grand Cayman and the Bahamas but now lives in Jacksonville. He claims to be a “hurricane magnet”, having endured or evacuated from nine hurricanes. Well, then, no small wonder Painless climaxes with a hurricane and who better to describe it? In the end, I found the author has a special talent for weaving a complicated and intriguing plot, peppered with plenty of humor, delivered in his unique, quirky style and accompanied by colorful characters that leap off the page.

If crime and "bad guys" -- especially ones with a flair for snappy repartee -- are your thing, "Painless" may be just the book for your reading pleasure. Bill Poje has packed more than 360 pages with colorful characters, action, violence, romance, sex, comedy, tragedy and the inevitable hand of fate.
Not enough to grab fans of the genre? Stay tuned. Poje's story climaxes with a sprawling hurricane sweeping relentlessly toward the Florida Pan-handle and his assorted mischief makers -- including the book's hero and chief smuggler.
Poje has generously sprinkled his novel wih "WHAM!"BAM!" "POW!" "CRASH!" "BANG!" "BOOM!" and other helpful onomatopoeia, in case we don't get the idea from the text. The novel is dark and light -- and always fun. Take, for instance, the first sentence: "Icky Vicky was not icky." Turns out she's really a sexy babe. And so it goes.
Poje, who now lives in Jacksonville, will sign copies of his novel Saturday at Borders, 3066 N.W. Federal Highway, Jensen Beach.