God's Personality

About the Book

God: Is the microphone on…Testing, testing one, two, and three…Alright! So how about those gas prices huh!...Five dollars a gallon! Isn’t that ridiculous?! Maybe if it was Five dollars a keg; people would be a little less angry. And you can only imagine how much it cost me every day; to travel from Heaven to earth, and the mileage on my new van is outrageous; so I’ve decided to walk today. Well actually I only walked half-way…some friendly aliens saw me walking on the side of the Milky Way; so they offered me a ride. Speaking of aliens! Do you know why people hardly ever see them anymore?! It’s not because they’re afraid of us; they’re afraid of our new gas prices. I mean yeah they may have enough gas to get here, but they may not be able to get back. I mean after all; they only get twenty-six light-years on the gallon. So now they’re trying more of an eco-friendly approach. The good news about that is you won’t have to worry about them trying to invade the planet earth anymore. Why?! Because they’re eco-friendly now, and lately I find myself trying to conceal my identity from the world more and more now; because oil owners would stop and ask me, “How come you just won’t make more oil?” Then I would politely respond, “How come you guys just won’t share the oil I’ve already given you? I mean what’s up with that?!

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