Emerald

No Balance Without stopping to see if her mother was home, Layla ran to the bathroom. Overwhelmed by her anxiety and confusion, she dry retched into the toilet. Everything she had learned and knew of her existence was unravelling. What was it that made it so hard for her to accept the Ambroses and Natanual? Was it the fear of losing control? She had been disarmed at Jack’s; she had felt Beatrice’s affection and the humility of Natanual. She wasn’t meant to feel anything from them or for them. She cleaned herself up and headed to the beach to think. Sitting looking out at the ocean, she let her tears freely run down her cheeks. She wiped her face dry with her sleeve and looked up at the sky, trying to blink the rest away. Again, she caught the scent as she wiped her eyes and face. It was the scent of orange blossom; to her dismay, she liked it. Layla reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her necklace. Her chest burned, overwhelmed with the disdain she felt for herself and the guilt for indulging in the intoxicating scent that permeated from it. The necklace also had the smell of citrus, but also of other blended spices, of leather, and of him. Layla looked more closely at how it had been mended. Natanual had replaced the leather cord. She remembered the tribal necklaces he wore when he first arrived; the cord was the same. In an action that was totally driven like a drug addict wanting and needing more, she cupped the necklace in her hands and breathed in deeply, drinking in its divine scent. It smelled dangerous, earthy, human, and beautiful. Catching herself and disgusted with her actions, Layla didn’t know whether she would vomit again or faint; her head swam with guilt and confusion. Needing to get home before Shay, Layla jumped down from the log. Reaching the road, she ran herself hard without stopping, trying to burn away her emotion. In her bedroom, she took a small wooden jewellery box out from her bedside drawer and tipped out the contents. Still catching her breath, she put the necklace inside instead. Snapping it shut, its smooth and flush closing mechanism locked the scent in tight. Layla then threw the box angrily away into the back of her wardrobe and out of her thoughts.