Jesus Speaks to Me: Whispers of Mercy, Whispers of Love

Why Me? The year 2000 was not just a Jubilee year for the Catholic Church; it was my personal jubilee year! Pope John Paul II (now Saint John Paul II) had declared three years of spiritual preparation for the Jubilee year by dedicating 1997 as the Year of Jesus, 1998 as the Year of the Holy Spirit, and 1999 as the Year of the Father. During those years, I was blessed to be at a parish that enabled me to grow in my relationship with God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, and God the Father, in essence, the Holy Trinity, as each was specially honored during those years. By 2000, I had grown so deep in my relationship with and so in love with the Holy Trinity that I desired no other love. I decided that I wanted to live a single life dedicated to serving the Lord through serving others. I went as far as contemplating and exploring religious life. I had no way of knowing when 2000 began that the Lord had already ordained marriage for me before the year ended. The words “emancipation,” “renewal,” “celebration,” and “special solemnity” are all denotatively associated with the word “Jubilee,” and they were personally significant to me in 2000. In that year I came to know the Lord like I had never done before—by clearly recognizing His presence deep within and all around me for the first time. After the initial realization that took place while I was on a pilgrimage in Europe in October, my life changed forever within just seven months: I was “emancipated” from the challenging life I knew for more than thirty years and I began living a “renewed” life with the husband the Lord Himself specifically chose for me; I “celebrated” the many blessings the Lord showered upon me; I observed the “special solemnity” of the Church’s Jubilee year by participating in and contributing to as many of its celebrations as possible. The Catholic Church recognizes the Jubilee year for its connotative value because it brings, among other things, life, hope, and grace. The Jubilee year indeed brought me “an abundant life,” “new hope,” and “unspeakable graces” that are revealed in the pages of this book. October 2000 was close to the end of the Jubilee year, but it was the point of my spiritual awakening. That cherished moment of prayer while on pilgrimage in Europe when I felt Jesus’ presence deep within me and heard Him speak to my heart, not in words but in thought, led me to unlock a secret that became a remarkable finding for me. I discovered that not only Jesus, but the entire Holy Trinity is easily accessible and anxiously waiting to develop an intimate relationship with me, far deeper than I had ever experienced before. Why me? What makes me special? John 14: 22-23 provides the answer; this is when Judas (not the Iscariot) asks Jesus: ‘Master, [then] what happened that you will reveal yourself to us and not to the world?’ Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him.’ Through these words, Jesus promises that “we,” meaning Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, will come to live in close communion with anyone who loves Him and keeps His word. Jesus did not allow me to have a life-changing experience with Him because I am in any way special. He came to me because I had reached a point in my life where I loved Him above all else, desired no one and nothing but Him, and was trying my utmost best to keep His word and live His commandments. Being blessed to gain the spiritual insights I did was just the next step in our relationship. I had spent three years of spiritual preparation in anticipation of the Jubilee year believing that it was going to be a year, and the beginning of an era, like no other, and it turned out to be just that. I gradually grew in my relationship with the Trinity through the following: daily Mass, daily reading of the scriptures, constant and consistent personal prayer, daily Adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, weekly confessions, monthly all-night prayer vigils, regular retreats and other spiritual exercises that foster spiritual growth, almost-daily service to others through various parish ministries, openness to spiritual direction, and the sacrifice of my self-will. I no longer had a desire for the empty and unfulfilling happiness the world offers because I had found the true, priceless, and unsurpassable joy of having a relationship with the Trinity. Having found this new joy, I came to the realization that no obstacle was a challenge, no setback a worry, no lack a punishment, no problem a burden. I began to see every circumstance and experience (good and bad) as pure blessings and opportunities for growth. Throughout the three years leading up to the Jubilee, I had gradually developed a different relationship with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. I got to know God as my Father, as the one who sustains my life, who is always there for me for guidance and security, and who always has the best and final say in every aspect of my life. I came to love Jesus as my brother and friend with whom I could be myself, as someone I could visit at any time, and as someone I could always reach out to for support knowing that He is always there for me, never tired of hearing my problems, not waiting to judge me, but instead always ready to shower me with love. I formed a bond with the Holy Spirit as He became the source of my spiritual growth and strength—He instructed me on how to pray, what to do, when to act, how to act, how to react, how to teach and serve others, how to forgive, how to sacrifice, how to grow in love, and how to grow in humility. When we surrender our lives to the Lord, to His will, to His love, and to His mercy, we will never look back or look down. Instead, with new eyes of faith we will look straight ahead and blindly follow the designated path laid out for our life, while, at the same time, looking up to Him and remembering always that He is GOD, the Giver Of Destiny.