Topher Payne just wants a little peace, and to settle down with someone nice.
Both seem to consistently elude him.
Always leaving the house with the best of intentions, he somehow manages to humiliate himself in front of Martha Stewart, wander onto a porn set, steal a cat, get in an alley fight in Ireland, march with gay Native Americans in the New York Pride Parade, and serve as best man at a Las Vegas transsexual wedding.
Topher tries to hold out hope for a Mr. Right who’ll accept his life of almost-manageable chaos. Along the way he discovers that maintaining a happy life takes more than the bare essentials… everyone requires a few necessary luxuries.