Failure Taught Me Better

CHAPTER 1: ORIGINS

Every day at 4:30 A.M, I hear the sound of my alarm clock….That means – Its time… Time for another day of engaging in productivity and success, life is too short to waste it sleeping. It’s peaceful at this time, the only sound I could hear are small pockets of wind knocking my window, the sounds of birds during summer, and the aura solitude during winter.

I am bounded by a collective psyche of my ancestors, a blend of motivation and energy runs through me, I want the world to see me, hear me….feel me. I have learned that life is dream constrained by reality so I asked myself “Why can’t I mix both of ‘em?” I suppose that is the mark of a fighter.

My name is Sione Poilangi Paea, I was born on the 18th December 1994 in Nuku’alofa, Tonga, I born and raised in a home, which was broken in a million pieces, a childhood I never asked for or ever dreamed of, a life loneliness and despair where happiness was only a broken dream.

My mother was a Christian who taught me to be a good person; she taught me everything she knew about God. We use to get dressed on Sundays and go to Church, it was good, I kind of liked of the sound of church bells – there was a strong sense of hope within me, I knew God would never abandon me. But sometimes God puts us through a series of tests. I guess we all have to go through them and learn to love people and ourselves I learned to love people through my Grand Father; he was a kindhearted man who had no prejudice or a bad thought about anyone. He was like what Virgil was to Dante, a guide who had nothing but hopes of seeing me prosper in life, a sweet soul whom presence was a gift from God.

He taught me simple things for which I thank him every day, even after his death, I still remember him and thank him daily. He was a strong man who taught me everything I know. He gave me the most important thing in life…Values!

It is common to associate happiness with…money. I agree that money is something everyone needs and it is a basic requirement to live one’s life. However not everyone is interested in money, while their actions may bring them a lot of wealth, their motives are directed by their passion. That is where my definition of success comes in- I believe that success is not written on your bank statement, it is something that you feel inside of you. Not a day goes by where I come home, worn-out and fatigued but when I try to sleep, it takes me a few minutes. Why? Because I know that my day was successful and I tried my best, I worked, trained, and destroyed each milestone that gives me a feeling of being unstoppable. To relentlessly pursue my goals, every day for the rest of my life, there is no scarcity of passion and motivation, the most vital commodity is TIME.

Life was not like this when I was little. I remember that we didn’t even have a proper shower in our house. For us, taking a shower was filling up a plastic tub with water and that was our bath. The concept of instant hot and cold was light years away because we could not afford it. I remember that I used to boil water in an open fire and then I use to pour it into the plastic tub, after that it was balancing time. Pouring a little cold water in it, so that it comes to a perfect temperature. At that time, this was the apex of my life, I was actually happy or maybe I had the habit of counting my blessings, it’s important to enjoy the little things in life. Small victories which life throws at us in disguise, we don’t know it but it’s there.

Nevertheless, life could not have been any better, for me it is like yesterday. I enjoyed those baths, I enjoyed the whole modus operandi...One day my Aunt got us a new tub, it was brand new tub, and I think she bought it for $35 pa’anga. Unfortunately, I was so excited that I would fill up the tub and use to jump in it…It broke and unlike every story this one had an ending where I got the beating of my life. Not really an ideal ending, I guess I should not have jumped in that tub…I was too excited not too! Life was sweet and simple; we liked doing simple things for fun, like messing around with beehives. My brother and I use to get fresh water from a local Catholic Church; they had a large water tank and were very nice to all of us. Anyway, on our way we noticed a large beehive, it had caught my eye first (the image, not the bees…yet) my curiosity led to me to throwing things at the beehive. Unfortunately bees are not as sweet like the honey they make, in a matter seconds, the bees were after us, one of them did get me in the eye but my brother got the worst, oh yea! The bees got him. There was a lot of crying because when my Aunt found out what we did, she decided that the bee stings would go really well with back of sandals, and believe me, she was a pro in throwing sandals. However, all is good because now we look at these memories as something BEAUTIFUL. We still talk and laugh about it, especially my Aunt who is like John Wayne with sandals. I was really close with my brother, I always imagined him being happy and most important of all, I wanted to be his shoulder, someone who could balance him out and see him prosper in his life.

Like every boy, I needed an ideal…someone who could guide me, give me hope and strength when I needed it. I was not lucky enough to have a dad around; he had left us when I was little. As a child I had nothing but hopes to see my father, he was never there when I needed him the most.

The memories of my past were coming in and out making me feel sad and wavy, I didn’t ask for this kind of childhood. All that I ever wanted was a family, a loving and caring family who would support me, love me in both good and bad times. Sadly that was not the case; I was never part of a family. My parents had a lot of responsibilities but I was more of a liability. I suppose my parents were not the “Children type”

This notion had haunted me for years and my parent’s disapproval of my Progressive Attitude was the last straw. I didn’t want a dysfunctional family. Nevertheless, I was not alone, God was good to me, and so was my grandfather who filled in the empty shoes of my father. He is my hero, he raised me, taught me everything that I know today and is my ideal.