Blackout Enlighten

About the Book

After the break up, how do we get back to life? How can we fill the void in our lives after our love is gone? Where do you go and how can we get rid of all the pain. And when there is any kind of pain that means there’s something wrong in your life, so embrace pain. Coming back to life is difficult for any and all of us because it’s new and different; it’s breaking our routine which puts us in an awkward position. The only thing we can do to move forward is take it one step at a time and sometimes the pain never fully goes away. There are many coping methods to progress through the storm but it’s up to the person, of how long it is going to take, you have got to find the outlet that makes sense to you, and it’s not jumping back into another relationship. You can’t heal a wound by making another cut so why jump back into another relationship? Otherwise the pain just comes back and you are back to square one, where you started before. When coming back you’re probably going to seem different to family and peers alike, and that’s because you are. But if you’re able to embrace the pain, than you will come out of any situation redefined and cleansed of all your worried troubles, and understanding the pain and realizing what the struggle was for. Getting back to life was one of my toughest challenges I’ve had to face time and time again from relationships to journeys I lived through out my life. How you get over the problem is how you put it into context in your heart and mind, make the pain and struggle make sense to you. My mentality has always been that I can make it through anything if I put my mind and heart into it. There has been many times I felt like I could not make it through and some how God has always given me the way. I’ve always faced obstacles that stood in my way; let’s go back to 2005 when my son was born. I was 24 at the time and my son’s mother was also 24. Everything was really good with my sons mother and I at first, and the family life was great at least I thought it was but that was also me not understanding her or realizing that she could be lost. One of the first thing to go wrong was we ran into some major trust issues and things went down hill from there, it started with me always going out and wanting to be around my friends more than her, I would be lying if I said none of the problems we had were not my fault, and probably at the time most of the problems were all my fault. So my sons mother wanted to take a trip back to Tennessee for thanksgiving and she did along with our son, it was supposed to be for two weeks, then two weeks turned into three weeks, three weeks into a month, and then into a year. Finally after a year and many plane trips back and forth for me, they come back to Los Angeles and were planning on making it work; but after six days my son’s mother wanted to leave again along with my son, so they left again. The pain I felt in my heart on that day was the worst feeling a loving father could ever have, I was crushed, I was unable to cope without them being there so I had no choice but to move to Nashville, TN; I needed to be with my family. Even though the change was difficult, I know I made the right decision for the up bringing our son. When I moved to Nashville, TN, I really wanted to be a family with my son and his mother. The reason why I believe it didn’t work out between us, because it was everybody and us, instead of just us. The break up between my sons mother and I was extremely difficult on me and I really didn’t think we would ever be apart and I never thought it would take such a toll on me as a person, I had lost the one person I was ever truly in love with. Like the saying goes you never really know how much you miss someone until there gone, that is the realist saying that could possibly exist at that moment and even today. We probably could have made it work but like I said you can’t let things linger or it just gets worst, if you are able t