Knockout in Pink

About the Book

Chemists GALENA BUNSEN and IONEZ ZWITTER observe 220- lb. waitress OLGA GRANCOWSKI kayo a masher with one punch in a Washington, D.C., coffee shop. In her lab, GALENA happens to be synthesizing a superhormone that releases 100% of a muscle's energy while IONEZ is developing a coating that absorbs all of an impact's force. However, the hormone only lasts 70 minutes, the coating an hour.    Upon learning that OLGA, a lesbian, hates all men because of past abuses, they convince her to seek the heavyweight boxing crown for revenge and riches, guaranteeing her that their two compounds will make her invincible.    SLATE MANKLE, a crusty ex-pug, inveterate male chauvinist, and down on his luck, reluctantly agrees to be OLGA's manager after she breaks the jaw of one of his fighters in the gym.    OLGA'S attempt to break into men's boxing is at first rejected by the boxing establishment. SLATE turns to lawyer, sports agent, and sleazeball par excellence CURT SKARPEL. His threat of a sex discrimination lawsuit unleashes an avalanche of publicity attracting the attention of a lunatic fringe that sends OLGA hate mail and death threats, forcing her to seek safety in the  seclusion of a downtown D.C. hotel.    After a couple of months of no progress, she gets cabin fever and wants to quit. To keep her in the fold, GALENA has an affair with her. Attracted to OLGA himself, SLATE tries to seduce her, but she rebuffs him by trying to scratch his eyes out. This upsets him because boxers dont scratch eyes out    When boxing promoter RON PRINCE finally brokers a deal giving her the opportunity to fight a man, she beats the worlds 9th-ranked heavyweight in the 1st round, her punches breaking his arms. The public controversy over her becomes a firestorm with men and women, gays and straights, heatedly taking sides while OLGA becomes a wealthy media celebrity doing commercials and appearing on talk shows.    All this time, IONEZ refuses to tell her husband WESLEY what she's up to because she doesnt want him to become an accomplice in an illegal enterprise. As a result, her marriage goes on the rocks. Caught in the middle is her son BENEDICT, a strange, unfeeling 10-year-old computer geek, whos only worried about losing his PC.    By the time of OLGA's next match with the holder of both the World Boxing Council and International Boxing Federation titles, her affair with GALENA is over, but she has graduated to more prominent and prettier lovers.    She is losing on points in her bout with the WBC/IBF champ HART LUBASH, when she plays possum and defeats him, leaving him almost a vegetable. Now, only the unification title bout with the World Boxing Association champ OXTEL TOBART remains before she can truly claim the title of the undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world.    The scheme unravels when BENEDICT, who perpetually snoops around the house, learns his mother's secret and betrays her to  her estranged husband WESLEY.    OLGA goes into the final bout with her secret known to her opponent TOBART. Aware that the superhormone and coating will last only a short time, TOBART stalls so that when the match begins, both the protective coating and the superhormone are fading fast.    Facing imminent defeat in the 3rd round, OLGA downs TOBART by  resorting to a last desperate and symbolic dirty tactic--a kick in the groin. Without waiting for the referee to officially disqualify her, she leaves both the ring and boxing unashamed, a champion, and a multimillionaire.

About the Author

Writing Biography

Historical novel entitled WARRIOR OF THE SUN, published by Dell.

2 Freelance articles, one in the Sunday supplement of the Columbus Ohio Citizen Journal, the other a humor piece in Nationwides Minutes magazine.

Reporter for the post newspaper at Fort Campbell, Kentucky.

Staff writer for the American Chemical Society News Service.

Science writer for Science News magazine on chemistry and engineering subjects.

Writer/Editor with the Environmental Protection Agency.

Over 1,000 one-liners sold freelance, mainly to Joan Rivers, some to Rodney Dangerfield.