Madeleine McConaughey

VDF looked round the audience. There were hundreds of kids and their parents, sprawled on all manner of blankets, chairs, beanbags and even the odd blow up bed. VDF didn’t know many of the assembled host. Until recently, he would have been confident that none of the dads could boast a house as big as number 27 Daisyhill Ave, or, as he liked to boast, the finest house in the finest street in the whole suburb. That is, until the VDF’s had dined at the McGillvrays only a couple of weeks prior. Their new outdoor kitchen and swimming pool area featured a massive barbecue, outdoor fireplace, stainless steel fridge and timber decking. Andrew had confided to VDF that the vibe around the fireplace in the colder months was something very special, especially with a big glass of cab sav in one hand and one of Jen McGillvray’s famous burgers in the other. The early 90’s pool bar and cabana at 27 Daisyhill Av suddenly looked very lame by comparison. As they drove off in the Bentley afterwards VDF had told Margie that she was going to have to call in the architect very quickly. The pool could be upgraded. It pained Marcus considerably that the same could not be said about Margie. A few of the other school dads had wives who were either way younger or way prettier. For some time VDF had tried to comfort himself by reference to his wife’s other accomplishments – stylish dresser, a dab hand at renovating, diligent housewife who would do anything for him, loving mother to Claudius etc etc. After six drinks on a Friday night they were little consolation. Marcus spied Madeleine sitting in the audience next to Matt Cordingly. The beautiful wives were taken, but it occurred to VDF that for all her faults, Madeleine McConaughey was both attractive and, so far as he knew, very single. Madeleine stood up and headed over to the canteen to pick up some more wine for the second half of the movie. VDF’s eyes lingered as she skipped gracefully through the crowd , trying not to block anyone’s view. Yes, the two of them had had their differences, but he was prepared to forgive and forget her uncooperative and at times arrogant attitude. As for Madeleine’s perspective, VDF harboured few doubts. How could a single woman in her position, with three children to support, fail to be attracted to a man in his position, who had it all? Especially after hearing what the Principal had to say about him in front of the whole school. VDF made his way over to the canteen and peered inside. Madeleine was the only customer. Jenny McGillvray was behind the bar, pouring a glass of wine. Madeleine grabbed the drink and turned to see VDF standing in the doorway, blocking her exit. “Wow look who it is!” said Madeleine. “The man of the moment. Dicky Head is obviously a very big fan of yours.” “Do you think so?” asked VDF. “I thought he was quite understated, and did his research pretty thoroughly. Hopefully the parents enjoyed hearing a bit about ‘the Man behind the Bentley’.” “Yeh I’m not so sure about that,” said Madeleine. “Anyway, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now,” said VDF. “Why don’t we step outside into the warm evening air.” “You look as though you’ve had a bit to drink,” said Madeleine. Against her better judgment, she followed Marcus through the doorway. “The thing is,” said VDF, “I think you’re absolutely gorgeous. Lots of room for improvement as a cricket coach, but in the looks department, outstanding. So attractive, I can’t express it properly. Your eyes, legs, hips, lips, I love them all.” Madeleine laughed. “You’re really beautiful, Deanna, and I want to kiss you now.” VDF lunged towards her, but Madeleine skilfully swayed out of his way, perhaps inspired by one of her charges avoiding a short pitched delivery. “It’s Madeleine. And you’re married. To Margie. Who’s a good friend of mine, and the mother of your son. Popped him out of her tummy she did, and it hurt. Really badly.” VDF looked around nervously. “So thanks for the compliment, but I’m heading back to the movie.” Madeleine disappeared into the crowd. VDF, burning bright red with embarrassment, headed inside the canteen. He grabbed a beer from across the bar without bothering to ask Jenny, knocked it down in one long gulp and stumbled back outside through a side exit into the darkness. There was no way of seeing the park bench which stood directly in his path. The pain as knee collided with hard wooden edge was excruciating. VDF collapsed on the seat, disoriented. After a few moments his silent suffering was interrupted by some muffled giggling. He looked around. Was someone laughing at Marcus Van der Fergenberger? Some kid who ought to know better than to laugh at the chair of the P & C movie committee? Placing as little weight as possible on his knee VDF slowly stood up and peered intently into the darkness. Sitting on top of a three metre high wall next to the roof of the library he could just make out a group of children. Their attention seemed to be focussed on two older kids who were cosying up to each other as they watched the movie. VDF could just make out their faces. Tyler and Dee Dee. As VDF watched, Tyler got up to head over to the canteen. It was intermission, and a long queue for sweets had already started to form. VDF hobbled as quickly as he could back to where Margie and Claudius were sitting. Margie was deep in conversation with Andrew McGillvray. She could see that VDF was in pain. “What have you done to your leg?” she asked. “Are you going to sit with us now?” “No, I’m not,” said VDF, abruptly. “I need to speak to Claudius. Alone.” Claudius instinctively grabbed Margie’s hand. “No dad, I want to stay here with mummy.” “There’s no time to waste, you’ re coming with me,” said VDF. “Now!” VDF grabbed his son firmly by the arm. Claudius, petrified, yelled “NO!”. The exertion made VDF put extra weight on his twisted knee. He howled in pain, startling a number of young kids sitting nearby. “What an earth are you doing?” said Margie. “Tell him to come with me or else!” barked VDF. His raised voice had by now attracted the attention of quite a few parents. “I think you should go with your father darling,” said Margie. “For both our sakes.” Claudius stood where he was, frozen. “No, I don’t want to go.” VDF glared at his son, white hot with rage, clutching desperately at his knee. Andrew stood up, unsure what to do. He asked Margie if everything was okay. VDF wrenched Claudius’ arm towards him and spoke very slowly. “Piss off McGillvray.” Andrew wasn’t sure if he had heard correctly. “Sorry Marcus?” “I repeat, piss off.” “There are mums and kids present,” said Andrew. “One last time,” said VDF, “in words of one syllable. Take your nice new pool and outdoor fireplace and piss off.”