The Logos

It is difficult for me to see my truth in the light of what I have learn about myself. But it is what it is. I hope someone gets something from my transparency ,that will get them one step closer to knowing Jehovah the Great God who knows all. I am about to discuss something you have already heard. My objective is to magnify the things we over look and do not pursue. I have always wanted a strong relationship with the Lord on this side of Heaven. It seems foolish to wait till I am in Heaven,when He is living on the inside of me right now I would meditate on the things of God and strive to know Him more and more. My battles with sin seemed not the thing that troubled me because I learn about Justification by faith. I also learn that God wanted to revealed some of His mysteries to me. I did not understand what His plan was for me but whatever it is I thought marriage was apart of it. I was so sure of it, I married 5 times quickly. Hardly giving any time inbetween my divorces , before I was seeking to marry again. I went to many churches searching for more of God and thinking I needed to be married in order to fulfil the will of God for my life. I thought God called me to preach. Nobody really confronted me about my foolish ways.I knew that there were people who love me but I think they just did not know how to help me. But I am getting ahead of myself. My first marriage was 9 years long. I was hungry for God and so was my wife. But I was abusive physically. My problem with spiritual matters was hard on me, I wanted to know God deeper but I had this issue with seeing people nude. I also suffered with condemnation. My leadership who were my natural family and spiritual family in the beginnings of my attempt to walk with God and even others I went to church with were naked when I looked upon them or thought of them. I was in torment. I would see their nakedness at church and at home. I got prayer one night at a revival and those kinds of problems stopped happening to me. But there were issues that did not disappear in my marriage. I was angry and my wife was not the type to swallow her words. We finally separated and I started getting married without stopping to ask God for clarity. After 3 more marriages, each lasting less than 5 years, I met someone I remained with for 17 to 18 years. This was my fifth marriage. And When she passed away I wanted another wife but I was uncertain with my age being 68. If I should even entertain the thought of getting married again. Most would suggest that I give up trying but even though I failed at marriage I still desired companionship. Marriage is a great institution that shows the Love of Christ to His Church and the unity of many working together as one. There is a fellowship that is second to none. One of my spiritual issues was not knowing the voice of the Lord like I should. Instead of just waiting on God I was Apt to trial and error. I had missed God in big stuff not just little stuff. My error hurt my family and it hurt me. The church is not always a safe place to learn the things of God but it should be. I beçame very fearful and unwilling to learn the ways of God. Fear made me unwilling to take chances, whether they be big or small. But God was patient with me and His faithfulness has made me able to share my testimony without the dread of the devil shutting me down. If you are not open to the leading of the Lord, you are not able to work for Him as you should. All work for God begins with revelation. If you have not heard from God and you are working for Him you are probably in presumption or under a familiar spirit or have been granted grace and mercy, inspite of not knowing whether you know the will of God or not . Success is not always an indication you are doing what God wants of you. The devil tempted Jesus in the wilderness by trying to twist or bend the Logos. The written word of God . He did the same with Eve in the garden and with Balaam the son of Basor,who loved the wages of unrighteousness but was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with a man's voice forbade the madness of the prophet . The devil does the same with us.We don't always understand what God is saying to us. So the adversary trys to trip us up by twisting and bending what God has said. My point is God will correct you but you must be willing to be corrected. He will teach you His ways but you must not be in a hurry like I was. You need the church to help you. It takes time to learn how to walk is the Spirit .You need the Tudors and Governors that are in the body to help you find your way. Most of all you need to learn in a "low impact" situation. Where you won't hurt anybody or yourself when you fail. You got to fail to learn. We are a church that will not have a spot or a wrinkle when Jesus comes. The remnant of Christ will not be hanging their harp on the willow and hide cowardly behind the four walls of our church. We will stand victorious, and having done all to stand, stand therefore. So God is raising up His sons and daughters that will be strong and do exploits. I hope this book helps us or inspire someone to write something that will further our development in Christ. There are far greater man who have taught these trues than me. Let's listen a little closer.