Build a High-nurturance Stepfamily

A Guidebook for Co-parents

by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW



Book Details

Language : English
Publication Date : 12/11/2002

Format : E-Book
Dimensions : 5.5x8.5
Page Count : 515
ISBN : 9781469103310
Format : Hardcover
Dimensions : 5.5x8.5
Page Count : 515
ISBN : 9781401038823
Format : Softcover
Dimensions : 5.5x8.5
Page Count : 515
ISBN : 9781401038816

About the Book

Note: hyperlinks below will take you to the Break the Cycle! Website (formerly "Stepfamily inFormation") that this book and series are based on. Use your browser´s "back" button to return to Xlibris.

        This is the fourth volume in a series of six dedicated to breaking the epidemic [wounds + unawareness] cycle that promotes America´s tragic divorce divorce epidemic. The prior volume, Stepfamily Courtship (, 2002), outlines seven Projects to help courting couples make wise commitment decisions.

This book for stepfamily coparents and supporters adds five more projects based on the prior seven ones. If couples didn’t do the prior projects (which is common), they can start the first six any time. A sobering reality: if either partner made any unwise courtship choices, it’s unlikely that doing these other 11 Projects will guard them and their dependents from the five hazards that promote psychological or legal re/divorce. Nonetheless, working at the the projects will give minor kids their best chance at avoiding inherited psychological wounds, and passing them on to their descendents like their unaware ancestors did.

        The five post-re/wedding co-parenting projects are:

8) Nourish your re/marriage and steadily keep it your second priority, after personal integrity and wholistic health - except in emrgencies. In complex multi-home stepfamilies this is hard for many couples to do; as they…

9) Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and evolve strategies to resolve inevitable values and loyalty conflicts and Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer relationship triangles; while you…

10) (a) Build a co-parenting team with your kids’ “other parents,” (b) stay current on your kids’ progress with their many developmental and adjustment needs, and (c) continually adjust and refine your co-parenting “job descriptions” based on your stepfamily mission statement. Because all nine of these ongoing co-parent projects are complex, confusing, and conflictual…

11) Intentionally build a support network for you and your kids, and use it regularly. Finally…

12) Help each other (a) stay balanced personally, re/maritally, and co-parentally each day, and (b) enjoy this whole challenging, en

About the Author

Peter has spent over 17,000 hours in clinical, phone, and classroom consultation with members of ~1,000 typical Midwestern divorced families and stepfamilies since 1981. He is an invited member of the Stepfamily Association of America Board of Directors.