Did He Say ''Divorce?''

About the Book

Are you dividing up the pots and pans, or is he stealing your best china that was tucked away in boxes in the garage?   Whether you were married to the slob of suckers, or the king of control freaks, you will live vicariously in Joni Newman´s humorous depictions of her victories and conquests while she helps you to achieve self-esteem, and leads you back to peace once again.

       ------------------ This book is written with the Jilted Wife in mind--you and me. This is a self-help/how to/better-not-do-that/ book, which takes a fresh approach to the subject of divorce through humor.  It is intended to show you that the light at the end of the tunnel isn´t the train speeding down the tracks in your direction! As a woman, a victim, an outcast, and the object of his evasive attitude and abusive temperament, I am a tad prejudice.   If you are a woman who has been stung by her man´s betrayal of life´s promises, and are no longer the Queen Bee in his honeycomb, (or do you wish it was his catacomb?) this book will help you through the intense and debilitating smut of a divorce. I will tell you my story, and you can log your own story right beside mine.  We´ll proceed down this bumpy avenue of life that is often gridlocked with his obstructions.  Then, we´ll trot uphill onto an elevated crest we never imagined we could reach, in light of a divorce. This book will help you find purpose in life, laugh at the idiocy of his thinking, and put your confused feelings in perspective.  Finally, you will learn how to validate your worth--not as his jilted wife--but as being your secure and confidential self. If you think you´ll never be able to tolerate your divorce, think again.  No one taught you how to breathe, or spit, or ovulate, but you managed to perform these activities without training in boot camp! We´ll go through this together.  I´ll explore my hurt feelings, and you will recognize them.  And through it all, we´ll discard the maniac who disassembled our lives, while we beam with confidence at the pure joy of independence.  We´ll nurture our souls and hearts by building a much better life for ourselves and our families. We´ll graduate from the whipped-wimp image of ourselves that he molded to suit himself.  As we bring in the junior Red Cross to glue our clay-mation Gumby character back to her original formation, we´ll give a new meaning to mutual bonds.  Well explore all the avenues on which you may travel, but none will lead you to a dead-end.  Also, I´ll add a touch of humor.  It´s difficult, I know, but it is better to laugh at the truth that sometimes seems surreal. At the conclusion of most chapters, I will give you perceptive perspectives, therapy thoughts, little life lessons, and jokes.  I´ll also include some husband-bashing, which should make you feel a lot better. All those innuendoes, insults, and intrusive aspersions that we have unjustly suffered, will now be explored, swallowed, and eventually put to death.  We´ll make our heartaches turn into his headaches. We´ll watch our dreams grow without him putting up obstacles and hurdles, for which we used to apologize and ultimately regurgitate.  You´ll share with me my thoughts, criticisms, opinions, and plots for revenge. And I know you´ll come up with a few of your own. We´ll explore, compare, and examine our divorce through alternative viewpoints:  The Three Trimesters of Divorce, and the Five Stages of Grief.  I´ll even tell you my Secret for Happiness! And in the end, we´ll be much better off without that speed bump we once called a husband. DID HE SAY DIVORCE? D-D-Divorce.  Okay, so I stuttered a little at the D word.  Who wouldn´t stutter if they had the rug pulled out from them, especially if that rug came off the top of his bald head?

 So, here you are, tripping over that D word too.  You may be left with financial burdens, emotional abandonment, and no more supplies of Haagen-Dazs ice cream.  How

About the Author

Joni Newman wrote her first novel at age 11, and has been writing since she can remember. In the last five years, she has received 23 awards for first and second place in poetry, article, and short story contests. She enrolled in “The Institute of Children’s Literature” course for a two-year study. After graduating the course, she studied with the Institute for two more years, and finished their post-graduate course with a second diploma. Joni has been published in Knight-Ridder newspapers, various magazines, and a coffee-table book. Currently, she is editing and revising students’ manuscripts, and writers’ short stories, scripts and novels. She belongs to “The Professional Writers’ League of Long Beach,” where she serves as Corresponding Secretary and producer of each year’s Anthology. Since her husband of more than 18 years ran away from home, she wanted to help betrayed wives find the humor of a divorce in progress. Joni believes that humor is the best therapy. That’s why she wrote this book.