One Clear Voice

The Prayer At The Coffee Shop Dear God I welcome the opportunity to understand more fully who I am, and I promise to work to embrace the possibility of who I might yet become. I accept your challenges your guidance and your lessons. I ask only for the courage to trust in You and the strength to receive your gifts with dignity and love. Amen. Breakfast I knew I had made a pact with you that day at the coffee shop when I sat there eating my toasted bagel no butter just jelly strawberry if you have it, please, and I vowed to thank you no matter what. With dignity and love, I promised, eyes open wide in graceful surrender to our plan. I say our plan, because even with you I would be sure not to, once again, lose myself completely in the arms of a man. I have decided that you are male because for some reason it’s what I need right now. And while I prefer to let the earth mother me from below there is something delightfully sensual, satisfying—some ‘s’ word about you coming from above looking down in knowing affection; a look that’s sure enough to quiet my thoughts, yet Over coffee I promised to trust you and you promised the truth. I said I would be brave and you swore that I would know. We kissed softly on a deliberate Amen and then I paid the check, the first of my dues, I suppose, with a generous tip too, a full belly, a steadied pen, a brand new pair of walking shoes, and the green light for go. secret enough to shake me up. On The Boardwalk Labor Day 1997 When the silence roared and the waves seemed as if they would take me too I sighed a weak and pitiful sound the only thing I could muster to show him I still cared. All the talk of rings and things wedding bell menus and how big the TV should be was lost in the fact that I could no longer spell his last name. He asked me if I still loved him and I answered with a wicked yes, angry at the dare but up for the challenge. The sand crept into my soles beaching itself like a whale— I was in this for the duration no matter how much it hurt. Seven months later when this itch was scratched to the bone I took my shoes off and cast them out to sea. I Will Meet You I will meet you in this place you are taking me right now where I manage to get quiet but no where near calm when I think about what else there is I would like to know and I wonder if you will let me see past the need in your finger a link that is too close to stay shy which, as it twines mine, takes me too off into a moment I thought I had only imagined. This Heart Every once in a while I come to remember that there is a person inside this skin, that she is mortal and finite infinite and fantastic as grounded as gravity when she needs to be, serious—stoic even, skin tanned and toughened like armor for the soul. And yet, there it is pounding pounding It goes from red like blood to that great green glow that radiates from the center of my chest, glides up into my shoulder over and down my arm pumping pumping lifting thrusting lifting up out of my skin toward you with a tentative smile. It is so beautiful, this heart on my sleeve.