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Love is not enough...
Typical new stepparents and bioparents (co-parents) usually find that building a
multi-home stepfamily is unexpectedly confusing and conflictual. Most recent stepfamily literature estimates that
over half of American co-parents who attempt re/marriage after divorce or mate death ultimately re/divorce psychologically or legally - despite their love, maturity, commitment, and experience. The "/" notes that it may be a stepparent´s first union.
This unique guidebook
results from 27 years´ research into why so many U.S. couples re/divorce. It appears that there are five factors that combine to often defeat love´s brightest dreams:
wounds from childhood in stepfamily adults and kids, and...
blocked grief from two or three major sets of losses in some co-parents and/or stepkids; and...
of (a) their
inner family of subselves
and related psychological wounds; (b) healthy grieving basics; (c) vital parenting and relationship skills and (d) stepfamily
These factors and high neediness causing one or both partners to commit to wounded, unaware people (mate + ex mate + stepkids), for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; and...
Little informed co-parent support available in the media and their community.
My work as a stepfamily therapist since 1981 suggests that courting and re/married partners
can work patiently at 12
Projects together to overcome these five re/marital hazards and forge a strong, nourishing re/marriage