Happiness in Marriage

About the Book

The book “HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE” by ASHOK GULLA deliberates on how to lead a happy and contented married life by bringing physical and emotional closeness, improvement of inner condition, imbibing feeling of love and concern, removal of negative feelings, enhancing attractiveness towards each other and focussing on higher goals in life.

To be happy in marriage is not only a personal issue but from a broader perspective, it affects the well being of societies. Most married couples are not fully informed about emotional, psychological and physical aspirations of each other. Enhancing pleasure through sex is not sufficient, if the couple does not attain emotional closeness. The efforts we make to develop ourselves in profession are lacking on our part when it comes to nurturing our married relationship. The essence of one’s happiness, inner calmness and growth is related to one’s capability to love others. Our ego, intolerance and selfish tendencies affect this inner growth.

Man and woman get married not fully informed about each other, expectations are too high, and we do not work properly to make it a success. Some people pretend to be happy married couple while talking to others; but in actuality, they have no deep love and affection. We always believe that everything in marriage will happen to our liking and blame other partner when it turns contrary to our expectations.

Our journey of life is much influenced by the quality of relationship with our spouse. Whatever we may achieve professionally, that will not help to compensate for troubles emanating from our physical and emotional relationship with our spouse. The pressure of modern life, constraints of meeting professional goals and getting material benefits requires both husband and wife to work hard leaving little time to develop understanding of emotional needs. We come together as strangers to get tied in the wedlock and in most cases continue to remain not attached emotionally. We do not make enough efforts to understand what troubles our spouse.As we go through the process of marriage, we tend to err in our understanding and meeting aspirations of our spouse. This spoils the relaionship.

People often get angry with their partner when they feel to be giving more in the relationship than what the other person is offering in return. We have to keep communication channels open with the spouse to listen to all the bad things he/ she feels about us so that these get clarified at regular moments. This may help us to adjust our understanding and behavior suitably.

At times, when a person is of a dominating nature, his or her spouse feels hurt and increasingly entrapped in the role of a weak and dependent partner. The feeling of hurt makes a person dysfunctional and not able to perform to the best of his or her capability. We may not be fully aware the agony and pain which certain harsh words or dominating nature causes to our spouse.

A happy marriage depends on better communication and understanding of each other. Some people have tendency to find fault with the way other person talks or the manner in which some task is accomplished. As husband and wife, we have to perform various tasks together to shoulder responsibility towards maintenance of home, care of children, meeting financial needs of the family or fulfilling responsibility towards other members of the family. As couple, we will continue to have differences on various issues and it may lead to anger or arguments at times. We have to be careful not to get into the habit of finding fault at each and every time. There is a better and sophisticated way of communicating our concerns without finding fault with our spouse.

We have to imbibe certain qualities that make us attracted to our spouse. Life should look incomplete without our spouse. The true love requires that it ought not to be conditional. Loving our life partner should flow

About the Author

ASHOK GULLA, M.Sc, M. Phil, MBA is a practicing banker for last 25 years.