Marriage Is Not a Vision It Is a Strategy

About the Book

There is no doubt that the marriage institution has been disrupted in many ways. Infidelity, divorce, domestic violence, and same-sex marriage are some of the visible signs. However, the human and economic tolls arising from this disruption go far beyond what we can readily see. You have probably read or heard all the things the Bible says about marriage; you still remember all the things your parents or your pastor told you about marriage, and maybe, you have also tried out some of the recipes for a happy and successful marriage. Most of what has been written and said about marriage come from “good husbands” and “good wives” who are “happily married” and are too careful to rock the boat. They keep to the beaten track even when it is obvious that things are not working according to the general prescriptions and assumptions. Now, what about those things you have never heard? I mean those things that could contradict some of your cherished doctrines and beliefs? Yes, you believe in marriage vows, you believe in one man–one wife marriages; perhaps, you were also given a set of rules on love, submission in marriage, or the formula for a successful marriage. You were probably told the type of people you should marry and those you should not—based on their backgrounds. Maybe you know nothing at all about all these. Never mind! Nothing will shield you from the vicissitudes of marriage; there is no absolute guarantee against failure. But you can reduce your odds of failure by acting consciously and proactively, and by taking your time to find out and understand who you are, your purpose and vision in life, before making the strategic decision of who to marry. What is the goal of marriage? And how do the requirements for running a successful business differ from those of having a successful marriage? This book is an attempt to develop a general framework for marriage based on proven business principles and guided by scriptural precepts. The central theme in this book is that marriage should be approached as a strategy for achieving a larger goal—a means to an end and not an end in itself. And since the success of any strategy depends on two key factors—planning and execution—the materials in this book can be classified into two broad categories, namely, planning and execution of marriage as a strategy. However, the book comes with some curious icing on the cake: • Every love is driven by need, and love that is devoid of attraction is nothing but kindness. • Love, though necessary, is not a sufficient condition for marriage. • Infidelity is a liberal ground for divorce when compared to some of the evils plaguing marriages in our society today. • Adultery is not extramarital affair. • Wedding vows make a deity of marriage and invalidates God’s divine grace on marriage. • There is nothing sinful about polygamy, and there is no virtue or holiness in celibacy. If you are tired of reading marriage cookbooks written by “good husbands” and “good wives” and their hunky-dory marriages, then you will find this book a welcome break. However, the book could set husbands against their wives and wives against husbands, but it has a higher potential to unite sincere husbands and wives around a common vision that can bring lasting happiness and fulfillment to their marriages.

About the Author