THIRD TIME TREČIAS KARTAS

In the “Akropolis” mall they went to a secluded place in a restaurant where Athena was eating her eggplant meal, while Tommy, all lean and skinny, enjoyed fresh juice. “I'm starving!” “Wonderful. Can I hold your hand?” “Do you need my energy, or you want to pass something on to me?” “I lied to you. Back then when we talked on the phone.” “You lied...” “I love you, Athena.” “I know.” “Sometimes I think it’s better that you knew less.” “I think so too. It would be more interesting.” “I listened to your advice. I thought about what you said. I left them. I put my son out of my mind. It is better for him this way.” “You did the right thing. He will understand. And when it is time, he'll find you. Believe me.” “I know. It was one of the hardest decisions in my life. I love him more than myself, more than my life.” “And you're not afraid of death...” “Absolutely not... I could leave it now.” “And I'm still afraid... I haven't learned to defeat this fear yet. This fear of death.” “Maybe it's better this way. Life is of a higher quality. When you fear death. Because I don't appreciate anything and I'm not afraid of anything. I am left alone. I have no family, no friends. I have no loved ones because they had drowned in drugs and alcohol. I don't have a home. Even my father, who was the only one who loved me, does not appear in my dreams anymore...” He wept. Tears were rolling down the face of Christ... “I'm ill, Athena. For many years now. Depression. That’s why I don't ask for anything from you. And I can't give you anything.” “If I'm the only one who snatches you out of this depression trap, I must help you. Hold onto me. I have to save as many people as possible.” “Save them from what?” “From themselves.” “How?” “Just like I’m doing now. You're here. You're alive. You have a new meaning for life, after all.” “But I can't interfere with your life and your expectations only for the reason that I feel good. You have to feel all right as well.” “I’m going to be just fine...” He escorted her to the car, loaded her trunk with gifts, he even remembered Rasa, he gave the bag for her as well. Then he gently embraced her, hugged her. Athena could feel every bone of this exhausted man’s body. Then he kissed her. And said goodbye... *** Nearly into the mid-summer, Athena decided to drastically change her life. She sent Lucas a message that they should go on different paths in their lives. The next morning, Lucas was waiting for her beside her car as he knew Athena was going to go to Vilnius, to university to hand in documents for doctoral studies. “Lucas, please, don’t go there. You can't go with me.” “Athena, I just want to be next to you. Let me.” “Lucas, please don’t. I know, I beg you.” “Athena, you always complain that I do not talk with you seriously. So, here's a chance to talk. A whole hour on the road one way. And back. Please.” “Okay, Lucas, let's talk. I have enough time when driving; I gave myself an hour and a half, so I don’t have to hurry. I’m tired of rushing.” Lucas sat in the passenger seat next to her. Athena was driving cautiously, calmly, without haste like never before. She started the conversation: “Lucas, we've been together for more than four years. Tell me, what was your progress during this period of your life? What have you done for yourself? I understand that you can try to fit into a new situation for six months, or well, a year, but four years – that’s just too long. I don’t expect anything from you anymore. And that's all. It’s done. Our relationship is over. Write it down in your autobiography. This day is the end of our relationship. You go and choose your own way; I already know my own.” Lucas said nothing. “You see, you're silent again. As always. When a conversation turns seriously you are either silent or bury your head in the sand. You do not discuss anything, don't say anything. Just finally say what you want from this life and what prospects you see. I'm not a student who’s satisfied by anything. I am too demanding both for myself and for someone next to me.” “Athena, I'm trying. I have done so much so that I can spend more time with you, I plan our quality time, I understand that we keep seeing each other less...” “This is not what I’m talking about. I had some great quality time with you. No perfect time with you will replace uncertainty of the future. We can fully enjoy a quality present only if hope of the future is burning bright. If it does not longer exist, the quality of “here and now” moment burns out. And I want meaning in everything. Why should I repeat myself when you already know this? I helped you as much as I could, you became a great wise person, but it is time for me to help others because at this point you can't give me anything. And I gave you everything.” “No, Athena, I don't want that. I want to be with you.” “And why is that?” “Because I like being with you…” At that time Athena noticed two heavy vehicles on the left lane. She swung into the right lane without increasing the speed to overtake them, and responded to Lucas as quietly as possible: “Well, you see, you like being with me. That's why we are no longer a couple from this moment on.” And right at that point, Athena felt something struck the side of the car. She hit the roadside partitions, tried to straighten the car, hit the brake pedal, and finally stopped. Even though the glass shards were flying off, the car flailed on both sides, and even after the first experience of the accident, she managed to stay calm. She once again went through the memories of the last accident in her mind, realizing they were both okay once again and who cared about the car. And turned to look at Lucas...